Our egos really cause problems for us.
They create barriers and spark conflicts making us dig our heels in so we can have a glorious moment of “being right” or “having power”. Sometimes they even get in the way of achieving our goals.
One of our biggest challenges in the Quality role is getting buy-in from others. Whether it's getting a team to adopt a new process, convincing management to invest in quality improvements, or ensuring compliance with standards, our ego can either be an ally or a foe.
I’m revisiting Carnegie. In How to Win Friends and Influence People he talks about letting the other person feel that an idea is theirs. He presents all kinds of evidence that this is a great way to get cooperation from people. And dealings with any two-year-old will generally confirm this.
Does this idea make you balk? Does it feel too manipulative? Or weak in some way? Like giving-in?
What if you changed your perspective on this? What if you thought of this as an approach for effective collaboration; a great way to lead; a way to create a sense of ownership for others?
Perhaps barrelling through and laying down the law, ordering people about, and being the bossy boss is not the best way. When people feel that they have come up with an idea themselves, they are more likely to commit to it wholeheartedly. Why wouldn’t we use this knowledge of how humans work to help us achieve our goals?
Let’s say Jane (real client, not-real name) a QA Manager at a mid-sized manufacturing company faced the usual resistance when she tried to introduce a new document management system. Initially, she presented the new system as a done deal, highlighting its features and benefits. She saved all kinds of time for questions and answers and felt like she was being both informative and supportive. She thought she was being a good leader; making good decisions; getting things moving. Others weren’t picking up that vibe. They felt excluded from any discussion and decision-making, and they pushed back hard. They complained it was too complex and not compatible with their current workflows.
Live and learn (and reflect). Jane decided to have a second run at this, and this time she shared her vision for improving the document management processes, but instead of pushing her new system, she asked for input from the others on how they could achieve this goal. And she was determined to listen openly. Now all of a sudden it was a discussion, not a direct order.
The team discussed various options, and Jane listened and was prepared to concede a bit and reframe her system as one possible solution among many.
As the discussion continued, someone suggested a customization that would make the system more user-friendly for their specific needs. Jane embraced this suggestion and gave full credit to that person during later discussions. You can bet that by the time a final decision was made there was a strong sense of ownership over the new system and everyone was much more eager to implement it.
We have to remember our goal. If the goal is to announce a new system and then struggle to get people to accept it, then Jane’s first approach is brilliant. If the goal is to get people to accept and start using a new system, then it’s a win for the second approach.
Here are some ways to let other people feel that an idea is theirs…or at least that they’ve been part of the discussion or decision:
Introduce the concept you have in mind as one of several possibilities. Allow people to discuss and explore the idea (and others) without pushing it as your own. This way, if they gravitate toward it, they will feel it was their own clever discovery.
Bring out the leading questions. You can steer people towards the idea you want to implement. This isn’t as yucky as it sounds. If you want to have better tracking or retrieval of documents, you could ask, “How can we ensure better tracking and retrieval of documents?”
Encourage ownership of ideas. When someone suggests an idea that lines up nicely with yours, encourage them to take the lead on developing it further. This will make them feel valued and involved.
You could frame your idea as a response to issues they’ve identified. This way it should resonate, it shows you were listening to their concerns, and it might be easier for them to adopt.
Create an environment that encourages brainstorming. When people feel safe to share ideas without judgment they’ll push the edges and be willing to share only partly formed ideas. This can spark other ideas. With brainstorming, you never know what great ideas will emerge, or who they’ll come from.
Frame proposed changes as collaborative efforts rather than as some proclamation from on high. And watch your words: “Together”, “we”, “us”, “our” reinforces the idea that everyone’s working toward a common goal and shared vision.
Acknowledge everyone’s contribution as well as celebrating the collective effort. This will reinforce their sense of ownership and commitment to the solution.
And finally, don’t just talk the talk about listening and asking for input; but really mean it. Be flexible with your ideas so that if a better idea emerges you show you’re willing to adapt your plan. Be genuine about this or you’ll find yourself with a bit of a trust problem.
Ego-driven barriers can show up as resistance to change, defensiveness, or a lack of engagement. When people feel they have a stake in an idea, they’ll less likely resist and more likely contribute positively. That’s what we’re going for.
At the heart of building a Quality Culture is the ability to influence and inspire others. Letting others feel that the idea is theirs is not about giving up your influence but rather about leveraging it in a way that encourages collaboration and results in commitment. In QA, where the stakes are high and the impact of quality failures can be big, this approach is worth thinking about.
This is pure “people piece” stuff. If you think, for a moment, that business is not about people, think again. It is always about our relationships. All work is. So, knowing how to get the best out of people and how to build strong relationships is the “secret” to success at work.
Remember also, that the goal is not just to get others to do what you want but to build a shared vision of Quality. When everyone feels that they are part of the solution, you move from mere compliance to genuine engagement. This shift is what drives long-term success and a true culture of Quality.
People want to contribute. People want to be involved. People want to have meaning at work. People want to feel like they make a difference. So let them.
When they do, they’ll be happier, they’ll work harder, and they’ll be more effective. Wins all around. I don’t see a downside.